My Healing

When I opened my eyes , I was in an unfamiliar place. I remember a dimly lit room, pull curtains, and clean linen nicely tucked in all around my body- almost like a hug. I could not move my arms or legs, and did not know how long I had been there. There was electronic beeping, the whir of infusion pumps, and a lot of clear plastic tubing- most of which seemed to be hooked up to me. I did not know how I got here.

“Are you in any pain?”, came a voice from the early morning darkness. I thought, “now that’s a good question.” I did not have the energy to speak, so I shook my head ‘no’. There was a reassuring hand on my shoulder and then I nodded off back to sleep. When I woke up again, my mom and dad were standing next to my bed. It was so good to see them. What were they doing here? I had no idea that I had been unconscious for almost a week and a half -and they had been by my side most of the time. Many others, I found out later, had also come by to pray for me. I am so blessed.

As I lay there in ICU, I would have little memory blasts of what actually happened to me. People would tell me bits and pieces as well. I had little else to do laying there other than to try to piece together these events in my mind– kind of like a living jig saw puzzle. So- here it is.

This is a story about the miracle working power of prayer. It’s about the absolute healing, saving, transforming power of Jesus Christ. I can personally tell you that He’s still in the prayer answering miracle business.

March 21, 2009

I had passed out on the floor at my piano shop. For days I could not quench my thirst. Good things tasted bad- and bad things were tolerable. The only thing I could eat or drink and keep it down was a strawberry shake from Whataburger. So when my body could not get enough nutrition or fluids, it basically shut down.

My daughter Shelley knew I was not feeling well, and was concerned when I did not answer my phone. Along with her husband Dave, they made the 25 mile trek across town to check on her daddy. They found the door to my shop open, (I did not have the energy to lock it when my helper left the night before) and they found me on the floor unconscious. I was so dehydrated, my tongue was swollen almost to the size of my mouth cavity. I heard Dave call 911 and ask for an ambulance. Shelley told me that she poured a few drops of water on my oversize tongue- and that I kept pointing to my mouth asking for more (I don't remember that). I heard the commotion of the rescue workers, and then passed out. That’s about all I remember at the shop.

The next thing I recall, I’m sure, happened in the spiritual realm. I know that the ER is only a few minutes from my shop, so I was not physically in the ambulance very long. I also know that at this time in real life, I was in the ER and then ICU. But I saw myself in a small room dimly lit with a red-ish tint with blinking red X’s flashing in each upper corner- as well as a corresponding buzzer. The buzzer and blinking was constant and relentless. I could see my son-in-law Dave sitting cross-legged next to me, watching over me like a guardian. As I was laying there on the floor in this room, something spoke to me and told me that now I've done it and that this was for real. For the first time it was made clear to me that this could be the night that I would die. I opened my eyes and watched the X’s blink. I did not plead, nor cry, nor think of my family, nor pray, but said in my heart to God, ‘let your will be done’. Somehow I understood that as long as the lights were flashing, the decision had not yet been made- whether I would live or die. I closed my eyes and laid back down exhausted, surrendering to His will. This room seemed to be a spiritual waiting room. There were no doors or windows. I had the sense that there were beings just outside this room waiting to escort me to the next life. I could not see them, but I knew they were there. I got the impression that my life was in the balance- and indeed it was.

I’m told that I showed up at the ER with a blood sugar count of nearly 2400. My temp was 107.8. My blood pressure read only 60/20. Every major organ- other than my heart- basically shut down. I was as dehydrated as anyone the doctor had ever seen. My gall bladder failed, then the pancreas, then the kidneys. The ER staff called my family and told them that if they wanted to see me alive, they should get to Houston ASAP. At that point they gave me a 5% chance to survive.

Dave left a message on my pastor’s voice mail. He got the message on Wednesday. “In case you’re interested, Chuck Bollinger is in ICU at NW Memorial. He is not expected to live.” Pastor Rick, senior pastor of Grace Community Church in Spring Valley, had Christina listen to make sure he had understood correctly, and then rushed to the hospital. The nurse gave him grim news. She had been a nurse for 30 years and had never seen someone survive with these vital signs. Hoping to get a more positive report, Rick talked with the doctor, but the best the he could do was, “He’s in God’s hands now”.

My 85 year old parents left right away from Minnesota- driving, a 1200 mile trip. It was very hard for them to see me unconscious in the ICU. It was especially hard on Mom. Weeks afterward when I called her I could hear emotional and spiritual exhaustion in her voice. She told me that it was agony to pray for me the first few days and see me like that. Then God spoke to her on Saturday night. As He did to Abraham, He told her that she must let me go- like Abraham did with Isaac. The prayer must change from tearful urgent requests to ‘thy will be done’. Immediately, it was as if a heavy burden lifted from her as she placed me in God’s hands. My younger brother Randy and sister, Patti, flew down. My older brother, Rick, always watching over me, was here as quickly as he could. His daughter, Tonya, and son-in-law, Chris, also came in from California. Brother Rick told me later that as the family was gathered around my bed for prayer, Tonya led out with a powerful prayer to heaven for healing and miracle. She and the others prayed heaven down into that room. When Rick open his eyes, after Tonya's prayer, he fully expected me to get up and walk out. It did not happen- just then. Christy, my former wife, and her sister Terie (also both intercessory pray-ers) came down from Kansas to pray for me. I did not know any of this.

Oblivious to all of the activity around me, I still saw myself lying on the floor in the spiritual waiting room- even though now I know I was in a hospital ICU bed. This may sound a little wierd, but I when I raised up on my elbows, or made other movements, I could watch myself as I did it. I thought nothing of that at the time, but now as I look back, it seems a little strange. I could hear a rumble outside the walls of the room where I was laying. The sound was kind of like the crowd noise before a concert event. Later, I understood this sound to be the prayers that God's people were praying for me. As they grew louder, I could not understand any one prayer- or tell who was praying, but I would catch snipets of many of them. “your will, Lord”, "heal this body", "in the name of Jesus", "for your glory"…. It seemed to me that more and more people were praying and somehow I could tell the prayers were coming from right next to me as well as over a wide geographical area- from right next to me, from Houston, from all over this country, and even from around the world. Over an unknown period of time, the rumble became a fervent, deafening roar, which, as if on cue, suddenly stopped for a moment. Then I heard what can only be described as a mighty shout of triumph- from all over the globe, exalting Him who was about to work this mighty miracle in my body. I watched myself raise up on my elbow to see what was going on. The shout faded away and the X’s stopped blinking. I remember thinking "Oh-Oh, this is it" and it seems like my heart stopped beating for a moment. The red room turned a greenish tint as something spoke to my heart and said that I would not die tonight. "Not here. Not now", the voice said. The last thing I remember of that room was laying back down, closing my eyes, and hearing the word “rest”. I immediately understood this word to have more meaning than simply physical rest. I understood it to mean that God was about to rest me- spiritually, emotionally, mentally, as well as physically.
I have comforting semi-conscious memories of my immediate family during the time of my 'resting'. I remember seeing what looked like the floating heads of my brothers and sister around me- backlit with the room lighting so that there was kind of a glow- or halo- around each of the heads as they put themselves in front of my face and said, “Do you know me?” I don’t think I said anything audibly (I had tubes down my throat at the time), but I know I said happily inside, “ Yeah, I know you. So glad you’re here!” I could not see anyone’s body from my view, only all of these familiar floating angel-like heads all around me.

Pastor Rick told me that he came up to the ICU Wednesday after bible study. He got special permission to go in after visitor hours to read scripture to me. He flipped open his bible randomly and said, “Chuck, we’ll just start with these red letters- they are the words of Jesus.” The verse his eyes landed on, I am convinced, started the healing process in me and laid the faith foundation for the miracle to come. Jesus said “This sickness is not to end in death, but for the glory of God, to be glorified by it.” (John 11:4) The spirit of God was heavy in that room that night as Rick kept reading that scripture over and over to me- claiming that promise and overwhelmed by the sheer power of God’s word. The next Sunday he preached a sermon based on this text, Lazarus, and my situation. It’s one of the many amazing stories of this experience. You can hear it online at “gracehouston.org”. see March 27, 2009 “When Jesus Calls Your Name”. When I listened to this sermon, I cried like a baby when he told the church that he believed God would heal me and I would be back ministering at the piano, just like I did before I got sick. You need to know that I was still unconscious in ICU at the time, and the question of brain damage (due to high body temp) had not been determined. The faith of this man, and my church staff and family, was truly amazing.

Pastors Neil and Joan Sayers, also Grace pastors, often came to minister to me. Weary from battling INS for their permanent visa, they learned that first Wednesday I was in the hospital that Neil’s father had passed away back in England. They were not allowed to return for the services. My heart is still broken for them. I so greatly admire their courage and selflessness to be often found (I’m told) up there praying for me in the spirit and lifting me up.

Rick Eubanks, who happens to be my grandson’s other grandfather, came down from Ft Worth as soon as he heard. Uniquely qualified through years of ministry, he stayed here for days- praying over me and ministering to my family as only he can. I never physically knew he was here- but was totally blown away at his compassion toward me and obedience to the spirit.

My good friend Dr James Baker stopped by a number of times. We talked and prayed and cried together. He has his own amazing miracle NDE story after being shot three times 15 years ago. He and Susan, his wife, gave me good sound realistic positive advice and encouragement. They blessed the socks off of me.

Danny and Marla had a knack of stopping by when I was getting discouraged. They prayed and shared and ministered to me- always lifting my spirits and encouraging me. What a joy to see them come into the room.

I remember the first Sunday night after I woke up. There were several people in the room. I looked across the room and my good friend Willie Francis was leaning back against the wall. He had on his three piece suit from church, and wire rim glasses. I’m not sure how long he had been standing there, but when I saw him and realized who it was, I was so moved by his concern and prayers for me. It was almost like he was an angel posted to watch over me. How good it was to see him. Freddy and Norma spent an hour ministering to and encouraging me. My friend Jay came at least two times- way out of his way to minister to me. Ray Hernandez, cancer survivor, came by and renewed our 30 year friendship. Brother Wilton was a frequent visitor, and always prayed with me the most amzing prayers of healing and recovery. Of course Pastor Rick, Neil, Joan, Ruth, Dorothy and others stopped by as well. Those that came while I was unconscious I don’t remember, but thank you so much.

My son, Jason, and his wife, Holly, happened to be in England at a long awaited bible conference that could have long term implications for their church, River-stone.org Community Church. Jason is the senior pastor/elder of that church. The first night they were there, there was a technical issue with his phone. When they got back to the hotel on the second night, the communication was working and he received an email from his mom that I was in the hospital and should return to Houston. Talk about a dilemma! What kind of person/pastor would people think he was if he stayed the 10 days in England instead of going to be with his dying father? He checked plane fares and found that it would cost thousands of dollars to change the flight- and with travel restrictions would not even get back for at least 5 days. He consulted with Riverstone Elders Brian and Steve about what he should do. People offered to float the cost of the return, but with a true word from God, and impeccable logic, Brian told him to stay at the conference. He believed strongly that my sickness was a spiritual attack from the enemy to disrupt whatever God had in store for their church and for Jason personally. If he came back, I could easily die before he got there and there would be nothing he could do. If God spared me, he would just see me when they got back. They prayed believing the latter. Such faith was abundant in everyone around me. Elder Steve said that he would go to Houston and be Jason’s proxy at the ICU. He sent real time reports and was part of my prayer team. Being at a huge conference of pastors in England, Jason had some of the world’s highest caliber prayer warriors praying for him, and vicariously through him- for me. I wish I could have heard Norman pray and prophesy over what was happening. Norman Brammer, founder of Links International, is Jason’s mentor. I’ve never met him, but I’ve heard enough Norman stories to know that he reached out and touched heaven on my behalf. Thanks to him and all of the friends I’ve never met in England who prayed for me. Glory be to God.

I have to mention my precious daughter Shelley and her husband Dave. Of course, they are totally responsible for saving my life. Shelley is with child (Samantha) and is due in July of 2009. During the 3 weeks I was in the hospital, there were (2) days she was not there- and I had to ask her to stay home and rest. She and Dave juggled work, home, her pregnancy, friends, family and the 20 mile one way travel distance to the hospital- I don’t know how she did it. But I can tell you that whenever she stepped in the ICU room, it would light up. She sang over me, she prayed for me, she did things for me, as I look back, that I simply could not appreciate at the time. I can now see her personal sacrifice and amazing love for her daddy. I don’t know how to love someone that much.

My nephew Chase, a third year resident at Baylor, took a day from his incredibly busy schedule- and away from his precious family to come visit on the Friday after I was released from ICU to the floor. I don’t know when I’ve been so happy to see someone. He looked at my charts, talked with my doctors, and made the complex understandable. On the way down he stopped and arranged the most beautiful bouquet of orange and blue wildflowers (I’ve destroyed the evidence) that you’ve ever seen. He put them in a faded plastic drink cup from Enron field, circa 1991. I almost cried. He stayed almost all day- talking, counseling, praying, and exhorting. A true man of God. May God’s face continue to shine on him. He left to have a late lunch with his cousins and return to Waco. It was great to see him.

My best friend Celeta was a rock. Not known by my family and formally not allowed into the ICU, she had to fight and lie and scrape to get in to see me, but she was there almost every day. She managed my bills and business on a practical level from the start. I don’t know where I would be without her. When I could not do for myself, she would come to help and encourage me. I thank God for her.

Soon after I woke up after the coma, God showed me, vividly, a crumpled up body in the corner of the room. It was like wadded up piece of paper that had been thrown away. When I realized that that was me, I started crying. God said that the old me no longer existed. What I was- was no more. Everything had become new. Then He showed me a potter’s wheel with a blank lump of clay. He said, “This is you. I will form you, mold you, guide you, and send you.” Yes Lord, I will go. Help me to hear your voice. The centurian had the most faith in Isreal, let me have the most obedience. Thank you Jesus for new life.

So now it’s been a month since my miracle. It’s a time to study and pray and prepare for what God has planned for me. Thanks to all of you that were part of my physical and spiritual transformation. If you came to visit while I was unconscious, please let me know. Please continue to pray for me. For strength, stamina, continued healing and God’s will. I am starting to walk a little without the walker. My prayer each morning, other than thanksgiving, is “stronger each day” which both gives thanks and makes a request. I’m currently on dialysis three times a week and we are praying that kidney function will be restored. I also have type II diabetes and give myself insulin shots twice a day. When I get down about where I am, all I have to think of is where I was. Praise God for His mighty works in my life.

He called me to go to all the groups that prayed for my healing and thank them for praying to show them this miracle that they are a part of. To let them know that miracles are the natural ending to prayer. The same power of prayer that saved me can save that lost relative and change the heart of the vilest sinner- which, of course, was me. I am preparing to go and tell my story and play music and share my heart. Or just stand and wave an acknowledgment of praise and thanks. It’s not about me, but the saving, transforming, mighty power of Jesus Christ. If your prayer group would like me to come tell my story and let me thank you in person, just click on the email address on the welcome page. I will not ask for money and will trust that God will make a way for me to get there. He also wants me to hook up with local kidney and diabetes screening organizations to provide information to all the dummies like me that are too busy or too smart or too oblivious to stay on top of their own health.

To God be the glory- in my life and throughout the earth.